Day 97
Day 98
Day 99
Day 100

Recent Trades

To Edmonton: Tomas Tatar, 250K
To Vancouver: Ross Johnston, PHI 4th 2024
To San Jose: Matt Dumba
To Vancouver: Tomas Tatar, Tyler Benson, Aku Raty
To Phoenix: Yakov Trenin
To Carolina: PHO 4th 2025, 500K
To Minnesota: Patrick Kane, Tyson Barrie, William Karlsson, PHO 3rd 2027, PHO 4th 2027
To Phoenix: Joe Pavelski, John Carlson, Lars Eller, 5M
To Washington: Jamie Benn
To Carolina: Brayden Schenn


Player Date Waived Waived By Claimed By
Tyler Benson 12:38 AM Jun 20 Vancouver NO CLAIMS

Recent Transactions


Overall Standings

New Jersey6236233777-2-1
St. Louis61301714766-1-3
San Jose6227314637-3-0
Tampa Bay6127286625-4-1

News Articles

Rangers - Posted at Fri Jun 14 12:44 PM

CEHL Tank Report

The race for the bottom is pretty much down to 3 teams with still a full season and toss in the 20 or so games left of this dreadful season.

  1. Colorado started it's sell off last season and has either started Dmen on forward, or benched well rated veterans to try and get to the bottom. With almost 30 picks in the next 2 drafts the Avalanche are going to be stocking the cupboard.
  2. Boston hasn't logged in since 2023 and is using the Detroit rebuild technique that Wayne invented, “do nothing”. Speaking of Wayne. Are we sure he's real?  I'm pretty sure he has completed 3 trades total in his career, and all with the same GM. hmmmm
  3. Rangers the class of the league, respected GM Mark Mead has already made 26 trades this season and has quietly gone about his business making this league a better place for all. Yes his farm team could probably beat his pro team in a 7 game series. But just like an apple on a farm or the big apple NYC, everything needs time to grow. 

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St. Louis
St. Louis - Posted at Tue Jun 11 05:32 PM

Was Vegas Better Off Without Crosby?

In one of the more notable deals of late, Sidney Crosby was hocked to Vegas (like one of Toronto GM Mark Kostovski’s childrens’ toys on Facebook Marketplace) for a 1st round pick in the upcoming draft and a pair of future 2nd round picks. On the surface it may have appeared to be a slightly underwhelming return but Crosby is on an expiring deal and will need a hefty payday to be extended. More interesting is Vegas’ shift from a can’t lose powerhouse to a team that has dropped 3 straight since deal, including a loss to the lowly Canucks. One may have thought Vegas’ notoriously hard-nosed GM Kevin Lapointe walked away with another trade win, but the trade winds of the CEHL gods beg to differ.

Only time can tell us who the inevitable winner and loser of this deal will be.


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Montreal - Posted at Sat Jun 08 10:52 AM

Shattenkirk Files Grievance

Kevin Shattenkirk has filed a grievance with the players union early Friday morning.  In the filing, his lawyer mentions, "a ridiculous carousel of transactions involving his client.”  

In the past six seasons, Shattenkirk has donned jerseys for an incredible twleve teams, the shortest stay being under two weeks.  Credit to the player for staying confident on the ice after all these deals.


More to come on this breaking story…


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Vancouver - Posted at Fri May 24 01:18 PM

GM Shawn Lawrence Is Bored

GM Shawn Lawrence has been looking at other activities to sustain his interest after a very slow week in the world of the CEHL. Shawn has found difficulty closing any transactions to bolster his roster. Following a week of vacation for CEHL Commissioner Grant Semelman, Shawn now awaits the opening of the CEHL Player Claim window. Shawn has been intensively studying the production of NCAA players age 22 and under that are currently unsigned. But like any university student cramming for a final exam, there’s only so much laborious statistical analysis that he can handle in such a short period of time. Some GMs would funnel this time towards following the Toronto Blue Jays, but Colin March has proven this pursuit to be a completely fruitless endeavour. Shawn has an extensively marketed trade block, but further delays to the frequency of the simulation could cause him to invent the oft-rumoured CEHL Methadone. We reached out for comment to Shawn, but he may have still had us blocked on Facebook.

-R. Edward Williams

Rory Boylen School Of Journalism ‘04


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Minnesota - Posted at Fri May 17 01:50 PM

Karlsson, other wild FAs: "We'll take less to play here"."


Erik Karlsson has made it clear that he and his fellow veteran pending free agents have no interest in testing free agency and would take a pay cut to stay in the State of Hockey. 

“I think it's pretty obvious this is where I want to be," Karlsson said. “I want to win a Cup. I'm happy here. I definitely will take less, much, much, much less to stay in Minnesota.”

Generally there are guidelines regarding a player's OV attribute and the contract he receives but Karlsson says and his teammates aren't concerned.

“This is a case where we have told our agent Grant Semelman to ignore the instructions in the rules page and take a deal that helps Minnesota. We don't want the full, required amount. Pavs, Marky and Tanger all agree it's best if we take less.”

Semelman, who's job it is to represent his players wishes, will have little choice but to accept the low offers from GM Jake Mednick: 

Captain Kris Letang expressed his frustration about the lack of email reply from his agent. 

“As far as I know Jake sent Grant a nice, polite email almost two weeks ago. What's going on here? Is he on vacation or something? Probably time to reply to that email.”



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Edmonton - Posted at Fri May 17 01:22 PM

Season 34 Power Rankings

We have nearly reached the halfway point of Season 34. Enough games have passed now that we have separated the ‘haves’ from the ‘have nots’. There have been some surprises with teams like Vegas and Pittsburgh rising to the top of the League while Dallas and Calgary have struggled after making major moves in the offseason. Below is the top 10 Power Rankings for the League. If you didn't make the top 10 it's because you suck. We don't have time to write about sucky teams and their sucky GMs. 

1. Minnesota Wild The Wild have been nothing short of spectacular this season. Led by their dynamic duo of Kirill Kaprizov and William Nylander, the team has shown incredible offensive prowess, combining speed and skill to dominate opponents. They currently lead the CEHL in goals scored. Their defense, anchored by Erik Karlsson and Kris Letang has been equally impressive, providing stability and contributing to the attack. With consistent goaltending from Jacob Markstrom, The recent 4 game win streak propels them to top spot on this list. Minnesota looks unstoppable.

2. Vegas Golden Knights The Knights are a bit of a shock to the most of the League this season, currently ranking first in the entire CEHL. Tim Stutzle leads the offensive charge, ranking second in the league in points. Filip Hronek and Alex Pietrangelo solidify the blue line, though the loss of Noah Dobson ton long term injured reserve has been noticeable. Goaltender Thatcher Demko has been a fortress in the net, making Vegas a tough team to beat on any given night.

3. Anaheim Ducks The Ducks are no surprise contender, even after shocking the League and trading Patrick Kane. A balanced offence from their top two lines gives Anaheim so many options to score. Veteran leadership from Anze Kopitar  and Brent Burns has pushed the team to consistent production. The star of the season though is Connor Hellebuyck. His Vezina calibre season is keeping Anaheim in the upper echelon of the league.

4. Washington Capitals The Capitals' seasoned veterans, Bryaden Point and Nathan Mackinnon, continue to deliver stellar performances. Brayden Points 28 goals leads the League by far. As good as Point has been, Vasilevski has been uncharacteristically average. Inspite of that Washington remains a formidable opponent.

5. Pittsburgh Penguins Alex Ovechkin and Tyler Seguin show no signs of slowing down, driving Pittsburgh’s high-powered offense. Sebastien Aho has been a revelation, providing clutch scoring. The defense, led by Kris Adam Pelech, has been resilient, and Darcy Kuemper’s solid goaltending has kept the Penguins in contention.

6. Utah Coyotes A surprise entrant in the rankings, the Coyotes have shown grit and determination. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Andrei Svechnikov have been offensive sparks, while new addition Patrick Kane has 6 points in his 7 games in Utah. Cam Fowler continues to be a journeyman top pair defenseman. Their goaltending tandem of Linus Ullmark and Brian Elliot has been a pleasant surprise, keeping Utah competitive in every game.

7. Toronto Maple Leafs The Leafs, led by Auston Matthews and Steven Stamkos, boast one of the league's most potent offenses. Sidney Crosby and Jake Guentzel provide additional scoring depth. Cale Makar leads a defence which have allowed the fewest goals against in the Easat. However,  goaltending issues have held them back slightly, preventing them from climbing higher in the rankings.

8. Carolina Hurricanes Carolina’s depth and balanced play have kept them competitive. Artemi Panarin and Arturri Lehkonen continue to be offensive threats, while Drew Doughty has continued to be a force on the blue line. Solid goaltending from Ilya Sorokin has given the Hurricanes the edge they need in tight games.

9. Edmonton Oilers The leagues revolving door of players have managed to depend on consistent strong appearances to stay in the playoff picture. Jusse Saros has been working overtime to keep the team winning. Young star Wyatt Johnston leads a team that boasts more depth than quality. If they can add some offence up front, they could rise quickly in the rankings.

10. Philadelphia Flyers The Flyers have had an up-and-down season. Chandler Stephenson and Kyle Connor have been reliable, but the team has faced issues with defensive depth and inconsistent goaltending from Cam Talbot. While they have the talent to compete, Philadelphia needs to find consistency to move up the rankings.

We could have some honorable mentions here but really that just promotes mediocrity. This list isn't that hard to make. Theres some questionable teams on here and some poor GMs. Pull up your socks guys, do better. I know you've got it in you.


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St. Louis
St. Louis - Posted at Wed May 15 07:38 PM

St.Louis Star Jordan Kyrou Sings The Boo-Boo Blues

”So here’s the guys I can’t even think about anymore”

Blues coach Rick Tocchet gestures to his injury whiteboard with Kyrou and Jonas Brodin’s names on it.

”I’ll have to pretend they no longer exist until they return. Play like a passenger and you get injured like one. Petey has found his way into some injury trouble this season too. He needs to step the fuck up and hit the juice this summer.”

We catch up with Kyrou and Petey watching Rocky IV in the players lounge.

“So Jordan, what was the hardest part of getting fucked up that badly in your last game?”

”yeah, I mean, aside from just the excruciating pain, just the fans you know. I… I play so hard for this team and it means so much to me… I just can’t believe… they’d boo me like that… I’m kindve a superstar you know?”

Petey concurs.

“Sometimes the fans in the Midwest can suck but that’s the market we play in. Jordan and I just gotta figure out how to steam our vaginas properly so Kreids isn’t the only one giving a fuck on our line every game.”

Coach Tocchet feels slightly different.

“These young guys are getting paid a lot of money now to perform but they just don’t seem to give a shit once they sign these big fancy long-term deals. Petey is from Sweden so he never grew up thinking about winning the Stanley Cup every morning like you and me. Jordan, as you can probably tell, is just a pussy. Clean edge work only gets you so far out there.”

The Blues have loaded up with intense players the past few seasons but the lack of intense star players on the roster have hampered the teams post-season success.

Kyrou still has hope for the future

“It’s inevitable that there will be a time where he’s not my coach anymore, and I think that’s when I’ll find the most success, when he’s not my coach anymore.”



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Ottawa - Posted at Wed May 08 04:35 PM


It's no secret now that GM Anthony Curatolo is attempting to unload most of his current roster of players to teams looking to make the playoff push for the illustrious Smitty Cup. League wide faxes have been sent to each GM across the fine league, with minimal interaction from anyone. 

Disgruntled, the GM finds himself in a world of confusion. 

What looked to have promise last season, with an unexpected run in the Smitty Cup Playoffs, has depleted entirely this season. Stud netminder, or so we thought, Jeremey Swayman has been subpar to start the season, and the fans have not been happy in Ottawa after what was a stellar playoff performance just a season ago. 

Thus, the Senators find themselves well under the .500 mark and losers of 5 straight games. 

“Madness!” cried fans outside of the teams practice facility as recently as this morning. There is just no joy this year in the fine city of Ottawa. And how quickly a fan base can turn. Taunting veteran stars such as Jonathan Toews, and Mats Zuccarello, along with threats and tosses of tomatoes towards youngers like Kappo Kakko, Jamie Drysdale, and the aforementioned netminder Swayman. 

“What kind of world do we live in?” questioned the GM. “To think, just a few months ago, we were being showered with love and respect throughout the streets. Now, we are spit at and laughed at; disgruntled I stand before you” he added. 

“It's no secret at this time, everyone is available aside from a few players that truly fit the mold of what's to come here with the Sens. And we have all the faith and trust in the world in Sway, and he will NOT be going anywhere”. The GM continues to pace around his office while we attempt to continue the interview. 

“I speak poorly of no one, but the disgust I feel from what I've observed over 34 games this season is a god damn joke. I want to vomit! I have vomited - for the past 5 fucking days! We are a disgrace to this league!” vocalized a truly angered GM. And his anger only continued to grow as we spoke, leading to being unable to finish off what we were here to accomplish, and what came next cannot be spoken of, EVER

Disgruntled, in Ottawa. 


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Phoenix - Posted at Fri May 03 04:01 PM

Barclay Goodrow Has Signed!

The Barclay Goodrow sweepstakes has come to an end. Whispers are circulating about the motives of commissioner Semelmans choice to have GM Wall of the Utah CEHL team rep this prized Ufa.  Word is that if GM Wall fed the commissioner inside information on the bids coming in for Barclay he would not only allow him but actually force the stubborn Jack Hughes onto the left side of the face off dot. Details are still coming through but one this is for certain. The league is as corrupt as Barclay Goodrow is now a member of the Washington Capitals. Contract is being reported to 3.01 mill for two years. 


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Montreal - Posted at Thu May 02 08:28 AM

The Montreal Canadiens announce that Elvis Merzlikins and Barclay Goodrow have been released from their current contracts.  Montreal wishes them both well in their future endeavours.

Following SIM Day 45, both Merzlikins and Goodrow were seen socializing at a restaurant in Raleigh with Brad Marchand.  This is expressly forbidden in the Canadiens Code of Conduct.  

Section 14.d)

No player shall been seen socializing or in communication with Brad Marchand outside of game time. 

Violation of these rules results in immediate termination.  


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Next Games

Day 99
St. Louis
Tampa Bay
San Jose
Day 100
St. Louis
Tampa Bay
New Jersey


  • Tim Stutzle 77
  • William Nylander 73
  • Nathan MacKinnon 72
  • Brayden Point 71
  • Auston Matthews 71
  • Connor McDavid 66
  • Joe Pavelski 64
  • Mats Zuccarello 64
  • Claude Giroux 63
  • Ryan Nugent-Hopkins 62
All Leaders
  • Brayden Point 37
  • William Nylander 33
  • Leon Draisaitl 33
  • Alex Iafallo 31
  • Tim Stutzle 31
  • Alexander Ovechkin 30
  • Mats Zuccarello 30
  • John Tavares 30
  • Jake Guentzel 30
  • Steven Stamkos 29
All Leaders
  • Nathan MacKinnon 46
  • Tim Stutzle 46
  • Connor McDavid 45
  • Auston Matthews 44
  • Sidney Crosby 43
  • Joe Pavelski 41
  • Claude Giroux 41
  • Andrew Mangiapane 40
  • William Nylander 40
  • Kirill Kaprizov 39
All Leaders
  • Cale Makar 52
  • Erik Karlsson 50
  • Alex Pietrangelo 47
  • Hampus Lindholm 43
  • Victor Hedman 43
  • Adam Fox 43
  • Zach Werenski 43
  • Kristopher Letang 42
  • Quinn Hughes 42
  • Rasmus Dahlin 41
All Leaders
  • Erik Karlsson 17
  • Cale Makar 16
  • Brent Burns 15
  • Sean Durzi 14
  • Dmitry Orlov 14
  • Quinn Hughes 12
  • Moritz Seider 12
  • Joel Edmundson 12
  • Adam Pelech 12
  • Ryan Pulock 12
All Leaders
  • Adam Fox 38
  • Alex Pietrangelo 37
  • Cale Makar 36
  • Mikhail Sergachev 36
  • John Carlson 36
  • Torey Krug 34
  • Hampus Lindholm 34
  • Brandon Montour 33
  • Rasmus Dahlin 33
  • Charlie McAvoy 33
All Leaders
Goalies (Played in 25 or more games)
  • Connor Hellebuyck 2.18
  • Vitek Vanecek 2.22
  • Stuart Skinner 2.23
  • Juuse Saros 2.51
  • Mike Smith 2.52
  • Linus Ullmark 2.66
  • Alexander Georgiev 2.70
  • Igor Shesterkin 2.75
  • Thatcher Demko 2.80
  • Andrei Vasilevskiy 2.82
All Leaders
  • Connor Hellebuyck .914
  • Vitek Vanecek .914
  • Stuart Skinner .909
  • Juuse Saros .907
  • Mike Smith .901
  • Igor Shesterkin .900
  • Thatcher Demko .900
  • Alexander Georgiev .897
  • Linus Ullmark .896
  • Martin Jones .896
All Leaders
  • Alexander Georgiev 6
  • Connor Hellebuyck 5
  • Tristian Jarry 4
  • Ilya Sorokin 4
  • Darcy Kuemper 4
  • Jake Oettinger 3
  • Juuse Saros 2
  • Cal Petersen 2
  • Martin Jones 2
  • Cam Talbot 2
All Leaders